Why United Airlines is the shits

United officially is on my shit list for the following:

1. When you book a flight, and specify Aisle seating, they will put you in the middle anyway.
2. They will be late.
3. Now, instead of a free shitty meal on yr flight, they will SELL you a shitty meal. You have a choice of bad sandwich w/chips and a cookie, or a salad with what is allegedly chicken on it, the price? 10 DOLLARS! For 10 bucks, I can eat dinner at Del Taco 3 times! And the food will be better! So to put this in perspective; Southwest, who typically are cheaper to fly with, will give you a box with 3 or 4 snack items in it on yr flight to LAX, for free, while on United, you now get the opportunity to pay for yr meal. What’s next, will they go back to making you buy those craptastic dirty headphones to watch their shitty inflight movies?! And here’s a thought. You were an hour late with our flight, and it was a shittly, long, and rough and turbulent flight. Why not give us yr shitty salads and sandwiches for free to make up for the extra hour of our lives you robbed from us by being late.
4. Did I mention that you don’t get yr still-free-for-the-time-being pop or starsucks coffee and lame half ounce bag of salty snack until after they are done shilling their 10 dollar crappy meals? I got my pop at the 2 hour mark on the flight!
5. They no longer have any Coca-Cola products. Just that asswater known as pepsi. I wonder how much of a payola they got to go “exclusive”. You’d think it would be enough to be able to afford to give away their rubber meat sandwiches and wilted lettuce and not have to gouge their passengers for them, but I guess they didn’t have a good negotiator in charge of that deal.

So goodbye United, after this trip, I shant be flying with you again.